For your enjoyment and mine I bring to you my very first YKK fanfic. This is the first YKK fic posted on Mediaminer.org and I for one am very proud of it. The concept revolves around Alpha and Takahiro and the Tanambata Festival (aka Star Festival) in Kamakura. The story is a look into the posibility of a robot finding love.
That's not all. I entered this story into the Summer Stars minific contest over on Mediaminer.org and I recieved an honorable mention. Even though I didn't place I am very proud of this story for strongly representing a fandom that isn't widely known by many people. It's a big step for the fandom and for me as well. I for one am proud of this honor.
You can find the fic here: http://www.mediaminer.org/fanfic/view_ch.php/101662/341642/
Take a gander at the story and let me know what you think of it. You can post your reviews either her or in the review board within the fic. I'd love hear what people think of it.
- Christine K.
Tuesday, August 2, 2005
I expected a doujinshi ;) Will read it tonight, though.
- tongHoAnh
Wednesday, August 3, 2005
...1 day later...
Well, I might just have read too many text book and have a poor literature background but here goes my 0.1 cents:
Spelling: No problem
Grammar: Technically correct. The sentences are rather long and could be structured better. Much text dont quite fit the context over the formal-informal slide.
Content: Predictable. Distracting and lengthy at times. The good thing is that you try keeping much of the original concept. The bad thing is that it make the story unbelievable, at least to me.
A nice reading for those didnt read YKK, a turn-off otherwise.
- tongHoAnh
Thursday, August 4, 2005
I thought it was very well written. I like all the attention to the small details, exactly the way Alpha would see things.
I am a dedicated Alpha+Kokone believer, so it is hard for me to picture her that excited over Takahiro. I think Kokone would be one to get all nervous and twirly planning a meeting with Alpha.
I do see Takahiro holding those kind of feelings for Alpha and the characterizations of the other "cast members" is excellent. :)
Thank you, I look forward to your next fanfic.
- Silverback
Thursday, September 1, 2005
This is quite a well-written YKK fanfic. It is obviously a difficult task to recreate the YKK style of storytelling. Yet the overall relaxing mood, the subtle way the characters interact with each other, and the high attention to details have proven that you have finished the task pretty nicely.
I don't really think that in Ashinano Sensei's story, Alpha's mind changed so radically after Takahiro had left her. But putting this aside, your story fits the original theme and concepts of YKK.
Nevertheless, it would certainly make your story more coherent and comprehensible if you could restructure the lengthy sentences into shorter ones. Or, at the very least, please consider using commas to separate different segments of long sentences.
I look forward to seeing your next piece of work!
- Doraneko
Friday, September 2, 2005
Thanks for all your input. With the way the contest was set up I played around with things to get the requirements they needed. I know the possiblilites of that pairing ever happening are slim to none but with these contests I can play around with a lot of "What would" situations with this or any series. Hopefully, I can get off my behind and get that Sensei fic written. Thanks for reading it.
- Christine K.
Friday, September 2, 2005
A nice story, but I think Alpha would be more likely to pair up with Nai or Ayase. And Makki would be insanely jealous.
A couple of quibbles:
"make ends meat....The site of a letter"
Look like mistakes in spelling.
Can't remember the tech term for words that sound the same but have different meanings.
- Kerry
Saturday, September 3, 2005
Very well written work, Christine. I hope that you continue to write in the future. Have you thought of posting it on fanfiction.net?
Your piece reminds me how I miss the character of Takahiro. He had a special friendship with our Alpha that brought out the magic and humanity in her. Takahiro's departure was an important and probably necessary part of the story, but YKK is just not the same without him.
- Peter by the Sea
Sunday, September 4, 2005
So your next fanfic revolves around sensei? A very interesting character, certainly!
Is it going to take place:
A: In the "present time" at her current age?
B: Highlighting her past when she and Ojisan were young?
C: Shut up Silverback and find out when I am finished? ;)
Well, I trust you'll let us know when it is ready to read. Thanks.
- Silverback
Monday, September 5, 2005
Uh...D? (^_^)
Seriously though Silverback that series of shorts will be Sesnei looking back on her life and how she got involved with the people who ended up creating the Alpha series of robots. It'll be one of those "I know you have questions and I have the answers" type of things. A bit of a task, yes, but one I'm willing to take on. I'm taking a huge liberty by using that Putaro name Ojisan calls himself in the insert when he and Sensei were younger and she calls herself Kouimishii (I think that's the name she used). Now I know one person said Putaro was a nickname but I'm not certain if Kouimishii is Sensei's family name or not. Hopefully, I can capture the laid back pace of the series though the fic I'm working on.
- Christine K.
Monday, September 5, 2005
Howdy,
Koumiishi is Sensei's family name. Putaro means "bum" and Ojisan is making a self-depricating joke there. I would not have him use it as a name or nickname.
Best,
Dave
- dDave
Monday, September 5, 2005
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